Thursday, July 9, 2009

Dating After A Breakup

After a significant relationship ends, or if you've been through a divorce, the idea of jumping back into the dating world can be overwhelming and intimidating. This is especially true if you are a single parent, or if you have been out of the dating game for a long time. Fortunately, there are many ways you can simplify your return to courtship and make a success out of your newfound singledom.

These are the 4 things you need to know:

Take time to heal. Make sure that you are mentally and emotionally prepared to date again. This is one of the most important parts of dating after a split. The end of a marriage or long-term relationship can be quite traumatic, especially if children are involved and you were together for many years. You can get through this difficult time by talking to a therapist, relying on friends and family for support, and taking each day as it comes. When you are ready to date again, you will know it!

Find your confidence. Divorce can do a number on a person's self-esteem. You might blame yourself for a breakup, think that you are a failure, or obsessively wonder what you did wrong. Stop! Your heart is still reeling, and only time will help heal the happiness and confidence that you lost. Until then, fake it ‘til you make it. Try a new haircut, get a facial, start working out again, or update your wardrobe. It might sound simple, but sometimes a little self-esteem boost can do wonders!

Get out there. You are not going to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right if you never leave the comfort and safety of your own living room. Make an effort to meet new people, and commit to dating at least twice per month. Ask your friends or family members if they know of any great single guys or gals, or try your hand at online dating. The more dates you go on, the more chances you will have to meet someone special. And even if the romantic connection isn't there, you can still network, meet new friends, and just have fun!

Prepare the kids. If you are dating and you have kids, try to keep any prospective partners away from the house until you are certain he or she is a keeper. Have sleepovers at their house, or if they have kids too, rent a hotel room or save sleepovers for nights when the kids are away. You don't want to confuse or hurt your children if the relationship doesn't pan out. Once you both feel comfortable that the relationship is serious then you can bring your new mate around to meet the kids. Try to make it a fun activity, such as a picnic lunch at the park, or an afternoon at an amusement park.

Remember, love and romance are important parts of everyone's life. Commit to making dating part of your life again, and enjoy the adventure and fun that comes along for the ride!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Healthy Diet, Healthy Vacation

Afraid of loosing your diet while on vacation? Boost yourself and make your travel experience- healthy and worry free.

Here are a few tips to help you manage a change of scenery with the least amount of diet stress:

Put your dining-out strategy into play. If you're out of town for a while and staying in a hotel, you may have to eat out for all of your meals. Use some of the same tips you've been following for restaurant dining closer to home, such as ordering an appetizer portion or sharing a full portion if a "doggy bag" is not an option.

Get support from those around you. Communicate clearly to family members, friends and fellow vacationers that you plan to stick to your healthy diet while you're away from home. Think ahead about how you'll respond if someone tries to lure you down the wrong path. "I'm not having any, but please enjoy!" or "No, thanks, I'm a recovering cheesecake (or nachos or french fries) addict!" or "I'm spending all my dessert money on souvenirs" can keep you cheerfully on course.

Get moving while you're away. Spending more time outdoors, at the beach or in the mountains, will almost surely give you new opportunities to get active. Jump in the pool with the kids. Take a day trip to the zoo. Park where you can walk around and get some exercise. Even if you don't make it to the gym, by planning some fun activities you'll be getting exercise and vacationing at the same time!

Sunday, June 21, 2009


How intense when you hate someone?
Can we just accept that they are part of our life and without them life has no meaning। And is it possible to hate them and love them at the same time?

It’s easy to come up with a mental catalog of all the ways in which that person could change to be less annoying, domineering, passive-aggressive, arrogant, etc।—but the fact is, you can’t change anyone but yourself.

Here are some tips about how to help yourself cultivate more friendly feelings। It’s quite a strain to hide feelings of dislike; if you can manage to change your feelings, you’ll be much happier. It’s hard, but not impossible.

1. Seek contact. This is a bit counter-intuitive. If you don't like someone, you probably feel like avoiding that person, but because of the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect, we tend to like people better the more we see them.

2. Do nice things for that person. "We prefer to see those to whom we do good than those who do good to us," as La Rochefoucauld observed.

3. Give that person a brief touch. Subliminal touching, i.e., touching a person so unobtrusively that it’s not noticed, increases people’s sense of well-being and positive feelings.

4. Lighten up. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you can manage it, laugh about it with that person, or poke fun at your own reaction. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings like a good laugh. This can be tough, however.

5. Act friendly. We think we act because of the way we feel, but often we feel because of the way we act. So act the way you want to feel. This is uncannily effective—just try it.

6. Resist criticizing that person. When you voice your complaints, they assume a solidity in your mind that’s hard to eliminate. When your thoughts remain unspoken, they can more easily be changed.

7. Remember happy shared experiences. Recalling good times elevates mood and will help warm your feelings.

8. Be grateful. Reflecting on reasons to feel grateful, instead of reasons to be angry or annoyed, will help change your view.